If you’ve ever had the misfortune of trying to engage me in small talk, about anything, you have likely received more than an earful, whether you asked or not, about how unfulfilled and uninspired I am by Greensboro, NC. And how living here fills me with a kind of boundless and profound existential dread.

And that’s if you catch me on a good day.

(If I haven’t published that one yet, it’s coming. Sorry, not sorry.)

I maintain with a few tried and true coping mechanisms, the most effective of which are:

1) Stifling all hope and feelings, and existing in a zen state of being completely dead inside.

2) Dorothy (pronounced Dar-thee).

3) Drinking too much. (What does that even mean?)

and

4) Getting away as frequently as I can.

While I wish that this final step could take the form of my once epic van trips to exotic locations like Kansas and Michigan and Florida and Nebraska, these days that kind of sexy far away just isn’t possible. (Which is its own kind of dead inside.) So I find other ways. Traveling small distances for day trips to ride or run anywhere that isn’t Greensboro. Even if it’s just to explore some three mile garbage and glass strewn riverside trail outside of Robbins or Graham or Franklinville. Anything to avoid doing yet another half-ass hot lap at Country Park, or riding out McConnell Rd… yet again.

Uwharrie is one of these day trips, and is by far my favorite. Enough so that for many years, rather than spread the gospel, I have actively done my best to gatekeep it. Because, well… apparently I’m petty.

Sure, I very occasionally invite people to come and ride with me, but what I am earnestly looking for when I go down there… is to be nowhere… and see no one. Sure, I’ll occasionally pass the odd rider or two on the main roads. Or spy the tell-tale tread of a Maxxis Rambler criss-crossing a red clay puddle (always with the Rambler (yawn)). But for the most part, I manage to achieve my goal; which is to avoid everyone.

Whatever “gravel” (much less its spirit) is or isn’t these days, there is none to be had in Greensboro, NC. Anyone who tells you otherwise is optimistic in those ways that warrant a wary eye. Are there still places to ride around town and in the region that gravel bikes shine on? Sure. And if you come in the shop, I’ll sell you a bike and tell you about them. But there’s no gravel. Even the most obtuse protests aside, we all know it’s true. A mile long cinder neighborhood walking path does not count. (And don’t even get me started about Salem Lake.)

But the strange reality is that there is very little gravel anywhere in North Carolina save for the western half of the state; Wilson Creek, Love Valley, Brevard, Nantahala. Outside of these, it’s just the odd little segment of road here and there. Part of a very real initiative dating back to the 1950’s and Governor Kerr Scott to pave all the roads in NC. (No. That’s a thing) And while it is a bummer in these modern times for affluent people with expensive gravel bikes, it is a thing welcomed by the actual denizens of those particular primitive roads. Some of them, at least.

But Uwharrie is a National Forest. A small one, but there it is. And thus it has a concentrated network of dwindling dirt tracks. Some of which go somewhere. And some of which do not. Many, in fact, just terminate into a gate marked very clearly and dramatically as private property (“Trespassers will be shot!” kind of stuff. NBD). Or onto a busy highway that you should avoid at all costs. (NBD)

There is even a gravel race down in Uwharrie these days. No, I haven’t done it, as it looks like little more than a lazy gravel cash-grab. (No. That’s a thing.) An unimaginative twenty mile course of out and backs at a time of year when the roads are clogged with jeeps and OHV’s. I’ll pass.

(late important edit: Race date moved this year to March 30th to avoid jeeps. That’s like… tomorrow. (Course is still out and backs though)

But outside of this kind of opportunism… there legitimately is very real gold down in Uwharrie. (No seriously… there’s real gold in those hills.) You just have to have a little vision.

Below is Ride With GPS’s global heatmap of the Badin Lake area, which is pretty much the focal point for most of the gravel people ride in the region.

It’s a cute, funky little crab shape. Two central loops with three branching out and backs. At least one sustained (and challenging) climb of roughly a mile and a half on the Falls Dam jeep path. If you were to ride just this area, (with a little more off map to the north), you’d get about 34 miles and 2800ft of climbing. Sure, about 13 of those miles would be out and back, but honestly, even if you only stuck to this, they are legitimately nice roads, with their own flavor each direction. But…

But…

But…

This is my personal heat map of the area.

The same. But differenter.

And that doesn’t even count all of the roads and paths on the other side of Highway 109, which are arguably even better. (Just with more dogs.)

When I head down to Uwharrie, all I’m really looking for is a chance to be away and alone. I’m not trying to sustain a pace or power. I just want to spend a day on the bike trying to find something new. Or new-ish, at least. So, more often than not, rather than ride the funky crab of out and backs (yet again), I immediately go looking for the places I haven’t been a million times, and deviate onto the trails. Some of which are, let’s be real, inadvisable. And some of which are the f***ing best.

Take the Robbins trail, for example. Possibly my favorite. It can often be largely unrideable in sections, whether with mud, logs, or loose rocks. But even then, it’s sooooo great. Pretty. Quiet. Speckled with clusters of boulders and granite hoodoos you would never see from the road. Even if I have to walk 80% of it, I’ve had a good time.

Or take this entire section:

Any one of these trails is both ridable and fun as hell. Whether it’s Megan, Indian, Home, or Helen’s Loop. Sure, they’re a little chewed up in places, and you’ll probably walk a little. And you’ll definitely run over some horse poop. But… meh. You’re ok.

(Late edit: Morgan trail is in amazing shape for riding right now)

But here’s the bizarre and funny truth of any of these trails: If I was exploring them on a mountain bike rather than a gravel bike… I just wouldn’t (and historically haven’t) care for them as much. Especially when I think about how they stack up to even my least favorite unridable trails in say… Pisgah. (ugh)

But there is something very particular about underbiking them that brings that tiny ember of warmth to my dead-inside heart.

(And don’t even get me started about underbiking.)

But for reasons I am still to this day trying to find the words for, it is simply 1000% more fun to ride a drop bar bike on trails than it is to ride a mountain bike on roads.

I made my first forays to ride Uwharrie back in the mid 90’s, while fully in the throes of being an earnest, angsty, and angry straight edge vegan geology major with dreams of living in the desert and aspirations of taking the ultra-running world by storm (surely that’s a trope). At the time there were only three proper MTB trails in Greensboro; none of which were close to or connected to each other in sensible ways; Country Park, Bur Mil, and Reedy Fork. The Adam’s Farm trails had been bulldozed for development and Owl’s Roost was still just a rough cut through the woods. To spice things up, I’d occasionally drive an hour south with my fully rigid (it was the 90’s) Univega Alpina and ride the multi-use trails at Badin Lake. They were fine? I guess? But I can’t say I loved any of it.

When I reluctantly returned to Greensboro some twenty plus years ago, I admit, I had forgotten about Uwharrie. At least for riding, obsessed as I still was with being the most mediocre ultra-runner the world had never seen. So that most of my forays south were to run the Uwharrie Trail rather than ride anything the region had to offer.

Then the Wood Run trails were given a face-lift and that became the off-road cycling destination. For mountain bikes, at least. Because that’s what was cool. And most of us forgot all about about Badin Lake.

But then, not too terribly many years ago… people started mentioning “Uwharrie” and “gravel” in the same sentence, and I had one of those “Oh my f***ing god!” moments. A tingling flush of heat, chagrin, and maybe even a little bitterness at being soundly beaten to a very obvious punch. A “why the f*** didn’t I think of that?!”

Because honestly, that’s the place.

And so for the past few years, I’ve been intimately reacquainting myself with it. Is it the desert? No. But it scratches a very real itch of longform mixed surface riding. And it does it well.

I intentionally don’t publish many of my rides or routes. Uwharrie or anywhere. For a few reasons.

One: I don’t know how.

Sure, every so often I’ll get a sudden and random smattering of kudos for a “morning ride” that was actually a “morning run” that I actually did over a month ago. All because some accidental log-in to Strava prompted a reset of my sharing settings. But beyond that, I legitimately don’t know what “uploading my workout” even looks like. Help?

And two: even if I did, I’d rather people not try to follow me.

Because for one, I was just exploring and took a million dead-end detours that I cannot recommend to anyone. For two, one of those out and backs was probably to poop in the woods (definitely). (What, you think I ride with that big handlebar bag and don’t carry TP?) For three, my road-route that day probably ventured on to some “trails” that bikes might not technically be allowed on. And for four, I was probably flirting dangerously with trespassing… and would rather not broadcast it.

But I’m sure other people have some published routes you could follow down there. Isn’t there like a Southeast Gravel page or something? Or just ride the crab.

But here’s what you need to know about riding in Uwharrie:

And it’s kind of important.

The Badin Lake area, while also the Piedmont’s premier gravel destination, is the regional hotspot for horseback riding and OHV’s, and most of the trails and roads were built and are maintained (some earnestly, some very loosely) by related and respective clubs. The latter especially. This is where people go to drive their 4×4 jeeps, side by sides, dirtbikes, and 4 wheelers. So head down there on some sunny weekend, and there is every chance you will run headlong into a Jeep Cherokee ripping around a blind corner. Fortunately, you can usually hear them coming… but you’ll still be inhaling their dust. Lots of dust.

The key is… the area is closed to the OHV’s from December 1st to April 1st. Which is excellent news. Ah, but… here’s the rub; until January 1st, hunting season is in full swing. Sticking to the main roads and that funky little crab, or riding Low Bridge or Dustly Level or Tower is fine, but deviating off the beaten path gets sketchy.

The golden hour to ride in Uwharrie is between January 1st and April 1st. And it’s actually one of the reasons I like it so much. It has a season. Like skiing or snowboarding. (You know… because I get to do so much of that here.) So come January, I disappear that way almost every weekend. And come April, my Uwharrie season is technically over. I’ll still go down and ride the other roads across 109, but I mostly try to steer clear of Badin Lake. Mostly. At least on the weekends.

But… here’s another caveat: It’s not just that the the B-roads in Badin Lake are closed to OHV’s from Nov. to April. It’s that technically they are officially closed. To everyone. Even horses. Is that enforced? Not currently, and maybe not ever. But… if every entitled dildo with a gravel bike starts showing up like they own the place and hop gates and spook horses and don’t pay for the mandatory day or season passes to even ride those roads… it might become an issue. So adhere to the age old adage and don’t be a dick.

This weekend (March 30th & 31st) is technically the last of the season. Before the OHV’s take it all back on Monday. So while I would rather not see any of you down there, my advice is to get it while you can. And if we happen to run into each other I might even show you a secret trail or two. They’re both terrible. You’ll love it.

(Late edit: as mentioned above, the Uwharrie gravel race has moved to March 30th, so probably avoid it that day. (I work Saturdays anyway. Sigh) But Sunday? Primo)

https://youtube.com/watch?v=6opF4urVZXc%3Flist%3DOLAK5uy_nSj8cuCz0MipdI89_Cga2rhexwDU5H2EI